Random Ramblings: Dark matter!

Earlier tonight I watched Space Week on National Geographic, which really got me thinking about the universe and dark matter, and once I start thinking about stuff like that, there’s really no telling what I might post on my blog. So, that explains the following. Switch your brain off and continue reading my random ramblings about the so-called “dark matter“…


Dark Matter is the center of your eye! Just take a look for yourself in the mirror…

We all look the same in the eyes of Dark Matter (and dark matter has MANY eyes!).

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s… DARK MATTER! (insert heroic theme here + some fancy typography).

Dark matter? No, it doesn’t matter! Now stop asking…

Dark matter is what ever we say it is! – and I say it’s TASTY!
I bet it tastes like chicken…


Dark matter is like a capsule containing everything and nothing at the same time.

“Dark matter” backwards is “rettam krad”. Seriously!

I think if you smoke dark matter it would get you really fuckin’ stoned!

Let’s change it to “matter dark” (just to confuse the scientists).

Let’s invent light matter! Or maybe semi-dark matter?

HOLY SHIT! Dark matter is coming out of my ass! Oh wait… That was a fart.

If it matters to you, it matters to dark.

But it’s too dark to matter really…

If dark matter were a person, would that person be black? (not to be racist or anything).

Wow, imagine if cars ran on dark matter… How cool is that?!

So, let’s get this straight… Dark matter is invisible, odorless and makes no sound? Wauw, sounds like the perfect fart to me (OK that’s the last fart joke I swear!).

Ha ha! I know what dark matter is. It’s that invisible stuff inside of microwave ovens that cook your food.


I’m glad I got that off my chest! Now seriously… I do find it really fascinating to think about the universe and all the things we haven’t discovered yet. I mean, isn’t it puzzling to think about the fact that we’re just one tiny galaxy in a gigantic pool of billions of other galaxies? – with each one of these galaxies containing billions of stars (and who know what!). And here we are worrying about our economy, the environment etc. when in fact we should be worrying about a huge fleet of aliens invading our planet… Hehe, just kidding. Or am I?

(Cliffhanger! Stay tuned for next episode of “Random Ramblings”).

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